I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
wow bdsm is so cute
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