i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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