i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
