you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
