so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
