She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
