Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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