dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What a dumb baby whore.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
