Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
