I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
worst night to have a conscience
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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