dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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