My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests š
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
