She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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