you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize