Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
