Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
