He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
