She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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