Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
