i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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