Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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