talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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