Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
