You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
