it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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