I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
