Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish i was in the wii world.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
