In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
