did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
