first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
