How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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