don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
