So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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