I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
