Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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