You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
