Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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