i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize