i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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