You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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