The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All the doctor said was why
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
