I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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