haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
