i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
