mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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