I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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