do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
