Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
