you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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