My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
