whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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