Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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