What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
