do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
