You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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