Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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