We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
