i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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