you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
