Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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