So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
bring money and cleavage
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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