Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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