He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
