The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
