As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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