I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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