from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
