My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
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